Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
