Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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