I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
