question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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