she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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