my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
