Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
