At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
