I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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