You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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