You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
