sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
