I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
