woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
