Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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