Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
