real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
