i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
