I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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