Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize