I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
