i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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