dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
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I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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