Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
