im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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