By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
