so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
