You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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