and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize