He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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