Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
