Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
