i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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