I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
