First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
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I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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