My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
