I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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