Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
