Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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