Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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