maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
