He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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