YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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