Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
