She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize