Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
