I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
