when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You ruined the universe
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
