this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
