i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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