someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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