Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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