so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize