he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My ATM looks so different sober.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize