i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
