I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think my moral compass just broke
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