She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
