dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
