none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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