What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
