Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my sisters under your porch take her home
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
