i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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